When it comes to playing Nintendo, a lot of people — many of whom are at the dinner table tonight — actually ask me if I’m going to quietly hand over the controller to Joey tonight. Boy, that’s not a good question, is it? This is very unfair.
First of all, Joey is terrible at Nintendo. When the little brothers go, he’s probably the worst. If he comes to play Zelda, you can tell he is Zionara for your rupee. A living Joey, I call him. Game Over Joey.
I’ve heard people say that it feels like wandering around in the game when I play. Can you believe it? You know I’m making tremendous progress. I’m progressing like no one else has seen. The cowards at Nintendo won’t show it to you in the progress bar, however, will they?
You must have seen Super Mario 64 when I started playing. This is ridiculous. Some Super Dummy was halfway through, but it was heavily twisted. I had to delete the whole game and start over. In fact, none of the Nintendo time I have logged in so far counts.
Hey, Dad, hand me a new glass of water. I think this is the worst water glass in the world. Look, you drink from its distance, like, it spreads all over your shirt. This is not good.
Look, we have a system in this house, don’t we? The person who plays Nintendo does most of the work. But the chore chart is bad. There are a lot of perverted people using it. They are useless with a joystick, they escape murder.
Everyone knows I do more work than anyone else. But half the time, you don’t even see them on the chart. How come? Someone can tear off the stickers and put them in a dumpster. I did not say who.
Worse than this, Joey – fraud Joey, I call him five at once five, sometimes six, got stickers. Isn’t that interesting? I told him that these kids were making big money doing some low life work for him to play Nintendo at school. Now, they are not talking about Joey, or they may be. But, in my opinion, it is very dishonest. We need to notice that Joey is putting on a deadline.
When you think about it, even though it’s Joey’s method, according to the “system” that was a disaster for everyone, it’s still my method.
Why is Joey playing Nintendo? Because he is my “brother”? I hate telling you this, Dad, but people are asking questions. Maybe Joey should sign up for 23andMe.
No, don’t start me on the Ancestry.com report. This is chocolate. Anyone can get it. Packing kids wandering the streets, claiming it’s time to play Nintendo, around Ancestry.com results printed in Kingco, they are looking for some vulnerable family to deceive. No one with any brain believes this. Yes mom, I have seen so-called family photos when we were kids. It’s amazing what they can do with deepfacks these days. It is out of control.
The more I think about it, the more I seem to have to control myself so no one gets hurt. Otherwise, you are going to see people expressing themselves in a big, important way. You’re going to see everyone sneaking up on the power button on Nintendo while Joey is playing Donkey, I don’t blame them. We need to see if there is a power button on Joey. I know, I know, I don’t have to say it.
By the way, Joey, if you’re really smart, you ‘ll ask Mom and Dad for a PlayStation. People are getting tired of Nintendo.
Anyway, I’m bored. Can I go watch TV?
Edward Langley is a contributor to Nintendo-power.com, covering a wide range of topics including news, business, technology, entertainment, lifestyle and current affairs. He focuses on delivering clear, balanced and accessible reporting that helps readers stay informed about important developments and emerging trends. With an emphasis on accuracy, relevance and useful insights, Edward aims to provide engaging stories and practical information that matter to audiences in the UK and beyond.